Doctor Robotnik The Interview is a feature in the first Sonic the Summer Special. The article saw fictional reporter Bob 'Scribbly' Cosgrove interview Doctor Ivo Robotnik, although it was "transcribed" by Nigel Kitching.
Throughout the article, Cosgrove is antagonistic towards Robotnik and criticises everything from his handling of Sonic the Hedgehog and the "recruitment" of Badniks. Robotnik also insists that the Death Egg was created to protect Mobius from aliens, Chaos Emeralds belong to him because nobody else understands them and he pretends to be shocked that workers in the Chemical Plant Zone are actually slaves.
Towards the end, Cosgrove's anti-Robotnik sentiments come to a peak, defiantly stating that Sonic will eventually return Mobius to its good old days. In response, Robotnik shows Cosgrove one of his new weapons and uses it on him. The tape of the interview cuts out and is delivered by hand back to Sonic the Comic, where the staff are wondering what has happened to Cosgrove - and their tape recorder.
Transcript[]
Doctor Robotnik has ruled over Planet Mobius for some time now, but the man himself remains something of a mystery. Tyrannical ruler or benign benefactor? Power crazed dictator or misunderstood philanthropist? Opinion is divided into two camps - what Robotnik thinks and what everybody else says. Now Sonic The Summer Special gives you the chance to decide for yourself as we present this exclusive interview. We sent our intrepid reporter, Bob Cosgrove, to meet the great man in his fortified base in the Special Zone. Doctor Robotnik, it seemed, was keen to put the record straight about his position as self appointed monarch to Mobius. Bob found the good doctor in typically good humour…
Sonic The Summer Special: Well, Doctor Robotnik, or may I call you Rob?
Robotnik: Doctor Robotnik is my correct title, you uneducated clod!
SSS: Fine, Doctor Robotnik it is then. Doctor Robotnik, how do you feel about the fact that you are about as popular on Planet Mobius as gastroenteritis?
Robotnik: You must be mistaken. I am told that my subjects dance in the streets at the mention of my name. The fine people of Mobius have come to love me and accept my laws cheerfully. Besides, everyone knows the penalty for looking discontented.
SSS: But just last week there was an attack on one of your Badnik patrols…
Robotnik: There are always some sad misguided souls, some ungrateful wretches who cannot accept the rule of Doctor Robotnik. I provide protection and security for my people and all I demand in return is their total, unquestioning obedience.
SSS: Be blue and spikey, would he?
Robotnik: If you are referring to Sonic the Hedgehog, yes he would. That criminal has been a thorn in my side for years. He strikes at me at every opportunity and then vanishes back to his secret hide-out where he skulks like the coward he is. But the net is closing and, one day soon, Sonic will be mine and I'll obliterate the little creep… I… I mean, he’ll be rehabilitated and placed back into society as a useful and contented citizen.
SSS: Fine, maybe we'll come back to Sonic later. I wanted to ask you about the Badnik troops and all the weaponry you seem to have amassed. A little odd for a peace loving ruler, wouldn't you say?
Robotnik: I fight an endless battle for peace, prosperity and justice. But for this never ending fight I need weapons - weapons with which to defend myself against all those who oppose me - all the enemies of freedom.
SSS: Well, let's consider the Badniks then. It is said they roam the countryside and indiscriminately attack any of the Green Hill Folk they come across. The poor creatures are then imprisoned inside the Badniks and are used as some sort of bizarre ‘organic battery’. Do you have any comments you wish to make about this?
Robotnik: If I may say so, it’s that kind of story which causes unnecessary concern amongst my subjects.
SSS: Yes, but is it true?
Robotnik: Well, in a manner of speaking.
SSS: How do you mean, exactly? Either it’s true or it isn't, surely?
Robotnik: Well all right then, it’s true. But one should see the Badniks as going into partnership with its victim… er, companion. This is a chance for the Emerald Hill creature to improve itself, this situation should be seen as a great opportunity to serve Doctor Robotnik as I, in turn, humbly try to serve my subjects. After all my only desire is to make my people happy and to further the cause of peace and brotherly love.
SSS: All right, I'd like to ask you about the orbiting space satellite - the Death Egg. Death Egg has rather menacing overtones, wouldn't you say? And it was said to be capable of firing a death ray of some sort. Hardly the instrument of a peace loving man.
Robotnik: Oh how the people of Mobius misunderstand me. The Death Egg was intended to protect Planet Mobius against attacks from outer space. As the death rays were pointing away from the planet. Once again it is that liar, that insidious gladiator, Sonic The Hedgehog. It is he who has turned the people against me with his groundless accusations
SSS: But I thought you said the people loved you?
Robotnik. Quite true, they do love me. They just don’t realise it yet. They do not yet understand that I have to save them from themselves. They do not understand that no-one knows what is best for them except their humble monarch, Doctor Robotnik. But now my Death Egg is destroyed and Mobius is deprived of its protection.
SSS: Okay, I wanted to ask you about the Chaos Emeralds. I believe Sonic has these in his possession at the moment?
Robotnik: The Chaos Emeralds rightly belong to me because only I understand their awesome power, only I know how to harness their energies to the full. If I had them I would be invincible, unstoppable. There would be no power on Mobius that could stand in my way. If this power of destruction were mine, I could rule Mobius in the way that I really wanted to… er, with kindness and understanding, I mean.
SSS: When one looks around at Planet Mobius, there have certainly been a lot of changes made since you arrived...
Robotnik: Why, thank you…
SSS: No, I mean Zones like the Chemical Plant Zone. This region was once a place of great natural beauty, now it has become one enormous factory belching out smoke and producing gallons of noxious liquids.
Robotnik: Mobius has to face a harsh reality. The pollution is a small price to pay for the profits generated by the Chemical Plant Zone. The work undertaken here produces a vital revenue for the planet, as well as providing much needed employment for the population.
SSS: You mean you actually pay the people who work there?
Robotnik: Well, not actually ‘pay’, no. But each worker rests easy at night knowing he is playing a part, no matter how small, in the development of the Mobian economy.
SSS: Some people say these ‘workers’ are actually slaves, press-ganged into working against their will. Do you have any comment on this?
Robotnik: I am genuinely shocked to hear this accusation. If you give me the names of the people who say these things, I can promise you I will make a full and thorough investigation.
SSS: I’d like to move on. Nothing is known about your background. It seemed as if one day you suddenly arrived on Mobius out of nowhere. What can you tell us about Robotnik The Early Years?
Robotnik: Isn't it enough that I am here now? Why do you need to know of my past? It is of no consequence.
SSS: I just think our readers might understand you better if they knew something of your background. There is a rumour that you have no memory of the past...
Robotnik: There is something in what you say. But whatever my past might have been, it is of no importance to what I am now. Before I became Robotnik, I vaguely remember being different.. weak and foolish. Something happened to me and I changed. Now my mind sees things with the crystal clarity of... of...
SSS: Madness?
Robotnik: Not madness, you incompetent fool! As somebody once said - ‘men always think their superiors are mad’. I am growing impatient with your prattle. Make your next question a good one.
SSS: Okay, how about this? Sonic has beaten you time and time again. He evades your best attempts to capture him - isn't it just a matter of time before he defeats you for good and returns Mobius back to the old way of life?
Robotnik: Sonic The Hedgehog’s days are numbered! He has only escaped me in the past by the most preposterous turns of good luck. At the moment I am hatching a plan so devilish, so cunning that the spiky rat won't know what hit him. I am developing weapons so powerful that, no matter how fast he runs. he'll never find a place to hide. In fact I have one here I’ve been working on. Do you want to see how it works?
SSS: Er, no. Not really. Look, will you watch where you're pointing that thing?
Robotnik: Don't worry, I'll be careful…
(At this point there was a curious sound recorded on the tape, a sort of ‘zap’.)
Robotnik: Oh dear.. how clumsy of me.
Tape ends.
The above is the complete transcript of the tape recorded by our Sonic The Summer Special reporter. The tape was sent to us anonymously and delivered by hand. lf anybody knows the whereabouts of Bob ‘Scribbly’ Cosgrove, could they please contact Sonic The Comic offices - we want the tape recorder returning.
Trivia[]
- The feature contains two identical images of Robotnik from the second part of Girl Trouble.